I usually struggle with projects like these for two reasons –
- Vulnerability – Putting something out there for the world (which, in my case, is literally like 5 readers who accidentally clicked on this blog through a Google search gone wrong… ) to see, is something I am deeply uncomfortable with. I struggle with this inner battle of sounding smart-enough or cool-enough and this kind of gratitude thing falls perfectly in the realm of “don’t ever do this“
- Commitment – I’ll be honest – ever since I have heard, and read, and revalidated that gratitude is an important part of experiencing life fully, I have tried to inculcate it more and more in my day-to-day life. However, I have always fallen off the bandwagon about 5 days in, because I had a bad day and chucked the G word out the window! In spite of my track record, I am re-attempting this project and this time, my hope is that the pressure of clicking that “Publish” button every day will make me more accountable.
To give you a bit more of context on the “Why” – I am an Acumen Global Fellow, Class of 2017. As I write this, I am working for this company called Our Family Clinic in Kochi, miles away from my home and family in Bangalore and Pune. Doing the work I’m doing is intense and frustrating and there are (plenty of) days when I want to run away to the comfort of my dog’s licks and hugs! However, what keeps me going is knowing that there are 11 other Fellows like me in 7 other countries going through the same emotions and I don’t want to let them down! At the same time, I don’t want to let myself down. The Acumen Fellowship was a goal and dream for about 5 years, and I am determined to make this journey count, in whichever small way it may be.
I may not be able to bring greener pastures and golden rain to the company I work for, because God knows, four months is too less time! But I can come out of this experience, more self-aware, and appreciative of what I have and can do, I can be a person who starts something, gives it her all, and comes out stronger. And I can attempt to be a little more vulnerable, and in the process, form deeper connections.
Wish me luck everyone! 🙂
Read the entire series here