Learning to love lemonade and piles of shit..

You know that saying about when you think life has thrown a big pile of shit at you, look at others’ pile and you’ll want yours back? And you know that other saying about when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade? Well, the last week has been a gigantic lesson in how terrible I have been in following these two commandments!

You see- sometimes we get so blinded by what is happening in our life and how out of control it is getting, that we forget to notice the good stuff around us. Like one of my pregnant friends was telling me about how long she took to realize she was actually pregnant! After the initial joy and surprise had weaned off, the only thing she could think about was how dramatically her life was going to change and how fat and hormonal she was getting and how the baby was going to take over her whole life…blah blah. Until, (now this is very Bollywood), the baby kicked one day! And that is when the reality of it all hit her- she has a baby, her own baby !! How awesomely insane was that (for her :P)! So you see, sometimes you need a kick to realize that while some things may not be exactly what you want, there is a purpose in their coming into your life. And maybe you just need to wait to realize what that is. And maybe someday, after that purpose has been achieved, you may actually get the thing you have wanted all along..

So without divulging too much information- let me just give you a gist of what happened. So while I am an essentially positive person, I go into this cocoon at times where I think that the worst stuff in the world is happening to me and only good things happen to everyone else- I’m sure it happens to a lot of us! So last week, I met two people who have had to deal with more crap than me and who were still so happy and positive and full of love! I’m sure they’ve had their moments of despair, but they also snapped out of it much stronger- and faster- than me. That was, in essence, the kick in my butt. 😛 Isn’t it oddly unsettling, how knowing of another person’s difficulties can make you feel better- quite disturbing actually! But to clarify- it’s not that I was happy to know what had happened to those people. I just made me feel that I was not alone in this. And I think that is what we all need- to know that we haven’t been singled out.

The only downside of kicks like these are that the effect of the jhatka only lasts a few minutes or days at most. After that, keeping yourself motivated and focused on the good stuff is all up to you. And it is definitely not easy- hell, the boring mundanities in life were designed to bring your spirit down. But then, that is where the challenge lies. You need to keep going back to that inspirational moment, and reliving it to remind yourself that all what is happening is good. I cannot tell you how many times I have written positive stuff like this on my blog, just so that I can inspire myself whenever I read it. This sine wave of emotions can get frustrating at times- the hope can feel fake and one tends to gravitate towards the negative because it feels more comforting and real. But I think the best way out of it is to think about what is going to help you move forward in life- the despair or the belief in good? And once you have identified that, just hang on to it and do not stop- EVER.

So, for possibly the ten-thousandth time in my life- I have made a list of fifteen goals I want to accomplish by the end of this year- some are long-term while others are short-term, so as not to overwhelm me too much! I do have a tendency to give up when things start getting a little difficult, which is why I have actually written this down on my blog this time. So that whenever I read this, I am reminded that I should really really really work towards checking them all off my list by December 2011 !!

May the force be with me! 😀

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When book covers lie..

I was reading the blog of a friend recently who I have known for about three years now- we are not exactly close, but I cannot call him just an acquaintance either. I have always had the impression that he is a happy-go-lucky kinda guy, whose predominant thoughts are similar to most guys in their 20’s- sports, beer, girls, food, cars, Wii games and porn- I know that sounds very judgmental, but I am 95% it’s true! 😛 So anyway, I came across his blog and expected posts of a similar nature. What surprised me was that he had in fact written about a lot of intense topics- thoughts of a very introspective nature, which he had obviously given a lot of thought and emotion to. Reading those posts made me realize how wrong I was in forming an opinion about him. If I hadn’t read his blog, I would have probably never known he was even capable of thinking so deeply about life and its associated aspects. What surprised me even more is that he never showed this side of him to most people- I bet most of his friends don’t even know he writes a blog.

Are a lot of us like this? Maybe on a very unconscious level, we end up adapting our external persona to the people around us, so that they would like us and want to be with us. Maybe man’s innate need for social acceptance causes him to be less than true to his own nature. For example, you may have some strong views on religion, love, moral issues- topics that tend to be a little off-beat and controversial in some cases. If you know that your friend circle is not going to be receptive to your views, then you refrain from bringing up a discussion on it. Instead, you prefer talking about Sachin Tendulkar, the earthquake in Japan or Katrina Kaif’s latest movie- topics that you know would make you seem “normal”. 😛 That could be one of the reasons blogging or writing is so therapeutic- we have control over who reads what we write and hence, it eliminates the need to develop this facade around us. Of course, some of us are lucky enough to meet at least a few people in our life who we can be our honest, true self with- no judgment made, no opinions formed, no advice given unless asked for.

This is probably why we one of the earliest lessons we are taught in life are to never judge a book by its cover- or in this case, never judge a book until you have read it half-way through- you never know what surprises are going to spring up! Like in this case, I definitely have a new-found respect for this guy after reading his blog. Wouldn’t life be so much simpler if human nature wasn’t so complicated…

P.S.- Maybe just out of curiosity, I should ask some of my friends what they think of me after reading my blog- does it serve as an extension of who I portray myself to be externally, or does it reveal a completely different aspect of me too? Should be interesting to know if my blog surprises people.. 🙂 Thoughts of readers are welcome..