From A Beautiful Mind…

Queer little twists and quirks go into the making of an individual. To suppress them all and follow clock and calendar and creed until the individual is lost in the neutral gray of the host is to be less than true to our inheritance….
Life, that gorgeous quality of life, is not accomplished by following another man’s rules. It is true we have the same hungers and same thirsts, but they are for different things and in different ways and in different ways and in different seasons….Lay down your own day, follow it to its noon, your own noon, or you will sit in an outer hall listening to the chimes, but never reaching high enough to strike your own….


I read the above extract in ‘The Beautiful Mind’. The moment I read it, I fell in love with it. Liked it so much that I had even put it up on my Orkut profile till a few days ago. Thought of posting it here.


Dunno what to title it

The previous post I wrote created quite a stir among my friends. They asked me what was wrong. I gave it a thought yesterday…wondered why I wrote those two lines….and I couldn’t explain why !! Dunno…but it does happen sometimes right, that everything really is ok, as normal as things could possibly get, but yet something somewhere just doesn’t seem right !!

I read this in RD someday- When a person thinks his memories outweigh his dreams, then has grown old. I think I’m growing old. I think I’m allowing my past to take over my present. I think I’m trying too hard to forget certain incidents of my life, and its just not helping…I’m getting pulled into it even more !!

It is not a very nice feeling to be 20 years old and not really have anything substantial to account for, in those years. And it’s not at all a nice feeling to know that half the goals I set for myself, have remained unaccomplished.

The HSC results got out a few days back….ok…quite a many days back. I remembered the day my HSC result was declared. And was I disappointed !! And why? A 92.5% aggregate and 96% PCM wasn’t quite a bad result. But I had missed the Merit rank by 4 marks…and THAT hurt ! Because a Merit Rank was what I had wanted ever since I came to know of its existence. The Rank didn’t matter anyways- two months after the result, and it all was forgotten. I forgot the entire incident too. But the result day reminded me of it, after a whole 2 years. And it hurt yet again !!

I’m planning to give my GRE in March 2006. Took admission in Dilip Oak’s Academy. But I just realized that my English is not as good as I thought it to be. In fact it’s deteriorating at an exponential rate !! That’s a scary thought….

Scary reminds me…Gauri thinks my posts are scary. I don’t think so. At least they’re not meant to evoke those kind of responses. Maybe that’s the kind of stuff one tends to write when one is confused….but scary ??!!

I don’t know what I have written in the above paragraphs. I hope I haven’t scared anyone !! 🙂

But all that gibberish that I have typed away, has certainly made me feel much better !! Its true- Writing is therapeutic…….

Its all in the stars…..

My mom’s just back from her quarterly visit to the astrologer. This is probably the fifth one she’s visiting in the past 3 years. Each one of them is either an incarnation of some blessed priest or has been granted with unique intuitive capabilities. And of course, each has their own say on what the stars have in store for us. I remember my mom dragged me along to one such lady, during my twelfth board exams, and she told me to stay away from people whose names begin with P and H, as they would be detrimental to my progress. (Readers beware !!) Another gave me a ring to wear in my index finger, to improve my concentration. The latest news is that I would be married before March 2007, and to be event-specific, that is before I even graduate !! Abhi tak zindagi main kisi ladke ka thikana nahi hai, shaadi to door ki baat hai !! ;-);-)

We find these kinds of ‘readers of the stars’ everywhere. Some sit with fortune cards and parrots on footpaths, while others charge 2000 bucks for a one-hour consultation. Some help the average middle class Indian wife deal with growing demands of her family, while others lend an advisory hand to Page 3 regulars !! Whatever it may be, they sure have people eating out of their hands !!

And of course, the objects used for the predictions are varied too- there are the sun signs, the moon signs, the Chinese calendar symbols, some read the positions of the stars while you were born, while others ask you to change the way you spell your name, some read your face, some analyze handwritings, while some pick tarot cards- but all of them sure have something to say about your future !! Pune Times goes a step ahead and tells you about how good a roomie you are, how you’d like your first date to be, and even how good a kisser you are, all on the basis of the sun sign you belong to !! Probably I should ask a guy who’s kissed two girls of the same sun sign to vouch for that one !! 😉

Talking about astrology specifically, I do know that it is a very ancient science, though I never have bothered to delve into the scientific aspects of stargazing. But frankly, I really am not very sure about the credibility of this science. Do positions of stars really determine our lives? Can changing the way we spell our name divert ‘negative energies’ around us and make our lives happy? Do our ‘haath ki rekhaein’ have our future written in them already? Then probably it is not wrong to have a fatalist attitude- after all, we don’t entirely become accountable for the doings in our lives. It is, after all, inevitable !!

The many people I’ve spoken to, about this, tell me- “The best way out of it is to do your work with utmost sincerity and give each task your 100%. Take each day as it comes. The rest, leave to the Lord. After all, He is the Caretaker of the Universe.” Seems logical. Then what about the atheists? They do not believe in the Supreme Power. They believe that they control their lives entirely. That they are responsible for every action and every decision they make. Are they being foolhardy then?

Too many questions, and no convincing answers. Of course I know that there needs to be a balance struck between the two. I cannot possibly expect to do well in my exams just by wearing a lucky colour, and using a lucky pen, if I refuse to open my books and get my ass down to work. Besides, I’m definitely not going to stop driving if someone tells me I am prone to accidents in a particular week. But personally, I have always viewed astrology and its affiliated branches from a more experimental point of view. I mean, I do read the daily forecast frequently (in Pune Times !!), but only to see if it works. Fortunately or unfortunately, I’ve not come across a single day, as yet, when the predictions of Mr. Anupam Kapil have worked.

But it is just so tragic that there are so many people all over, who are nearly obsessed with these practices. Probably knowing of any sort of impending disasters serve as release valves for the anxiety-laden minds of some people. (Chalo, balaa talee !!) Probably a better alternative would be to concentrate more on your deeds and actions. Cause I bet the good you do to people around you would definitely pay you better returns than adding an extra ‘A’ to your first name !!

Touché !!